Well, people, 2025 is drawing to an end. Heck of a time we’ve had, right? Time to see how much you remember about a year that began with President Donald Trump and ended with … President Donald Trump. Well, and marijuana reform. You can’t lose ’em all.
1. Triumphant after his election victory, Trump got Congress to pass legislation raising tax deductions, particularly for the very wealthy, sending the national debt soaring and cutting Medicaid. Congress called it …
A. The “Here’s What You Get, Suckers, Act.”
B. The “One Big Beautiful Bill Act.”
C. The “You Voted Him Back In, Now He’s Your Problem Act.”
D. The “Debt-Schmedt Act.”
2. Trump later said that the name was …
A. “The perfect introduction for a long-term date with the American people.”
B. “Something I’m already envisioning for the history books.”
C. “Good for getting it approved but not good for explaining to people what it’s about.”
D. “A proposal sent to me by the wonderful folks at Very Rich Great-Grandparents for a Third Term.”
3. Kamala Harris published an autobiography after her dismal defeat in the last presidential election. In it, she quoted the former German chancellor Angela Merkel as saying …
A. “Don’t ever let them make you cry.”
B. “Don’t let them tell you Donald Trump is the worst world leader ever. We used to have this one guy …”
C. “You can’t turn an unmemorable campaign into a memorable memoir.”
D. “You know, some people are blaming all this on Joe Biden …”
4. When Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., broke with Trump and announced that she was retiring from Congress in January, the president began calling her Marjorie Taylor Brown because …
A. “She’s just another minority trying to get in my way.”
B. “Green grass turns Brown when it begins to ROT!”
C. “I got her mixed up with that pro football player Brown, except he’s retired, and I think a Democrat and dead …”
D. “I decided it sounded better than Marjorie Taylor Banana.”
5. You’ve probably heard that Trump was yearning to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, a scenario slightly less likely than his getting the Breakthrough Prize in Fundamental Physics. OK, he didn’t win the Nobel. But he did get a peace prize from …
A. The World Wrestling Federation.
B. An international federation of elderly golfers.
C. FIFA, the international soccer association.
D. His family.
6. Unusual Machines, a company that sells drone parts, gave Donald Trump Jr. stock that’s now worth close to $3 million for his help as …
A. A member of its minor league baseball team, the Drone Dingos.
B. A featured performer in the company’s minimalist drone music group.
C. Um, an adviser.
D. A promising future expert on all things drony.
7. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has continued to make news as the secretary for health and human services, particularly when it comes to opposing shots for children. A close ally, Del Bigtree, told the nation that …
A. “Bobby is the greatest thing for kids since ‘Sesame Street.’”
B. “Bobby sexts with the best of them.”
C. “Bobby is a free thinker — a very free thinker.”
D. “God is an anti-vaxxer.”
8. One of the biggest stories on Election Day was the win by Zohran Mamdani in the New York mayor’s race. Trump called the victor a “communist lunatic.” He also bragged that he was …
A. “A much better-looking person.”
B. “Way more sophisticated about housing reform.”
C. “The true king of social media.”
D. “Smarter.”
9. When we last left Trump and Mamdani, however, the two men had gotten together for the first time, and Trump told reporters Mamdani was …
A. “As crazy as ever.”
B. Someone who “can do some things that are going to be really great.”
C. “The guy who won the job that, you know, Ed Koch used to have.”
D. “Shorter than a Pomeranian.”
10. We’ve all heard about Trump’s get-tough immigration policy. It invoked the Alien Enemies Act, which was passed in 1798 to give presidents the power to detain or deport people who came from an enemy country. When the first expulsion of Venezuelans took place, Trump said …
A. “The only good immigrant is a deported immigrant.”
B. “I don’t know when it was signed, because I didn’t sign it.”
C. “Is that the thing about Venezuelans?”
D. “You know, before I was president, I sometimes got Venice and Venezuela mixed up in my mind.”
11. You probably noticed that Trump is now building a mammoth White House ballroom, which he assured reporters he has no plans to name after himself. The proposal immediately attracted a flood of corporate donors and rich supporters, who were asked by fundraisers to sign a pledge to give money to …
A. The Abraham Lincoln Ballroom.
B. The Ronald Reagan Ballroom.
C. The Millard Fillmore Ballroom.
D. The President Donald J. Trump Ballroom.
12. After an Afghan immigrant, 29-year-old Rahmanullah Lakanwal, was accused of shooting two National Guard officers in Washington, D.C., Trump attacked Tim Walz, the governor of Minnesota, for welcoming Somalis into his state. When a reporter asked what Somalis had to do with the shooting in Washington, Trump replied …
A. “Whoops, I always get that wrong.”
B. “Ah, nothing. But Somalis have caused a lot of trouble.”
C. “Well, then, who ate the pet dogs?”
D. “Somalia, Afghanistan, Mexico — you make it sound like these countries are actually different from each other.”
13. Did you notice that the nation’s 250th anniversary is coming up? To celebrate, the government is …
A. Developing a one-dollar coin with Trump’s face on it.
B. Baking a 250-foot-high cake to be served al fresco at Mar-a-Lago.
C. Televising a debate with contestants costumed as Grover Cleveland, William Henry Harrison and Martin Van Buren.
D. Creating a list of prominent Democrats to be deported to France.
14. One bit of good news in 2025: No hurricanes made landfall in the United States. This gives us an opportunity to recall the time in 2018 when Hurricane Florence battered the Carolinas, with Trump calling it …
A. “God’s punishment for taxing the wealthy.”
B. “One of the wettest we’ve ever seen, from the standpoint of water.”
C. “A reminder of why we should get rid of the Federal Emergency Management Agency.”
D. “A tribute to Mar-a-Lago’s canal system.”
ANSWERS:
1-B; 2-C; 3-A; 4-B; 5-C; 6-C; 7-D; 8-A; 9-B; 10-B; 11-D; 12-B; 13-A; 14-B.
If you got more than 12 right, you’re a star player and deeply in need of distraction.
9-12: Well read, although probably deeply depressed.
4-8: A prominent member of the Trump Avoidance Association.
0-3: Hey, we know you’re just pretending.
