Why Bill Maher Needs To Keep Taylor Swift’s Name Out Of His Mouth

Swifties are starting to wonder if Bill Maher is more than a little obsessed with Taylor Swift, given how frequently her name seems to come out of his mouth lately.

Even when he is talking about current U.S. President Donald Trump, the 69-year-old comedian still finds a way to link it back to the “Anti-Hero” singer and her dating history.

It’s not hard to remember Taylor Swift’s “girl squad” era, which was a deliberate attempt to stop the media from talking about who she was dating. Despite her wildly successful Eras Tour (which she recently wrapped up last December), it seems that some people are still stuck in 2014.

On Friday, March 7, during an episode of HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher,” Maher decided to bring up Swift’s name while he was talking about… tariffs?

“This world is so upside down now,” Maher said. “It took Trump three weeks to break up with Ukraine and Mexico and Canada. And yet, Taylor Swift has the same boyfriend for over a year.”

He quickly added, “It’s alright. She can take it.”

Cringe, much? If you want to tell a joke about Taylor Swift, at least make it funny.

Although Swift is known for her high-profile relationships, they don’t define her career. Her “folklore” and “evermore” albums were released when she was in her longest relationship to date. Swift dated “The Brutalist” actor Joe Alwyn from 2017 to early 2023, which marked approximately six years together.

Although their relationship inspired many songs across several albums, they didn’t define some of her most popular songs. “Shake It Off” is a song about overcoming negativity, while “Anti-Hero” addresses her own insecurities. Another song off her 2022 “Midnights” album, “Bejeweled,” also addresses her concerns about her own self-worth.

That one comment could go unnoticed if Maher didn’t bring Swift up so often. In July 2024, after she and Kelce had been dating for about a year, Maher took a moment to make another jab at her dating history.

This comment occurred on his “Club Random” podcast, during an interview with Hailey Welch, who is best known as the “Hawk Tuah Girl.”

“I’m sure she’s a lovely person, but the whole thing with the football player,” Maher said. “I just felt like 35 was a little old to be like, ‘My boyfriend’s a football player, and I wear his jersey to the game with his number on it!’ I mean, come on.”

Welch, 21, seemed to be a bit confused and off-put about his comment.  “Whatever makes her happy. If that’s what she wants to do and it makes her happy, it ain’t got nothin’ to do with me,” she replied.

Seemingly eager to continue dunking on Swift, Maher replied, “He’s gonna dump her, though, you know that?” adding, “With her, it’s like the Gatorade at the Super Bowl, you know you’re gonna get dumped. You just don’t know when.”

Taylor Swift has country roots, so it seems more than just a little weird that Maher thought he was going to get a high-five when he was talking to country star Luke Bryan on another episode of his “Club Random” podcast back in February.

“Yeah, the music either works or it doesn’t,” Maher said at the time. “But as a human, I have great admiration, because to be that far up in the stratosphere and not be doing anything stupid, be still a good role model, basically. You know, she’s had a bunch of boyfriends…”

“The only thing people can say about her [is] she’s had boyfriends?” Bryan, 48, asked, but Maher quickly changed the topic.

Of course he did, because suddenly it’s not as fun to discredit a woman’s success when you’re talking to another man who’ll defend her.

Maher’s exchange with Bryan sort of hits the nail right on the head. Maher seems intimidated by a woman’s success, especially when it’s not related to a man. He seems desperate to say that Swift is only popular because of her ex-boyfriends, that she has built her career due to the male influence in her life. To casual observers, this might be true, but only because the media wants to make it seem that way.

Many people who have never heard of “The Tortured Poets Department” know that “So High School” and “The Alchemy” seem to be about her current beau, Travis Kelce, because it keeps making headlines. The media rarely discusses Swift’s songs that don’t focus on her love life. The one exception to this might be her “Anti-Hero” music video, in which she received a considerable amount of backlash for using the word “fat” on her scale (it has since been removed from the official video).

I’m by no means a Swift apologist. I know she has said and done some pretty problematic things, but that’s not exactly the point here, is it? We, once again, have an older man trying to discredit a younger woman’s accomplishments, or if he does recognize them, attribute them to the men in her life.

Would Taylor Swift still be a household name if she went to Yale and wrote songs about the trials and tribulations of law school? Probably not, but she has become so famous because she has written songs about her emotions and her struggles in love in a way that many find to be very relatable. Being able to use song and lyrics to put into words a particular feeling is a very difficult skill to achieve, but it seems Swift mastered that from an early age, and that is why she is so successful today.

The “she only writes songs about her boyfriend” schtick is so old, it’s hard to believe that we’re still having conversations about it in 2025. Maher seems so stuck in 2014; maybe Taylor Swift should write a song about sending him back there.

Out of curiosity, I went into ChatGPT and asked it to write a song about sending Bill Maher back to 2014 in the style of Taylor Swift. And, here it is:

“Back to 2014”
(In the style of Taylor Swift)

Verse 1:
You think you’re clever with your words,
But all you do is stir the nerves,
Trying to act like you’ve got it right,
But, baby, you’ve lost your light.

Your jokes don’t hit the way they used to,
You think you’re edgy, but you’ve crossed a few,
Now I’m done with all the rants you say,
It’s time to send you far away.

Pre-Chorus:
So pack your bags, get in the car,
Let’s rewind it, go back to where you are,
We’ll leave behind this modern show,
And watch you disappear in a time we know.

Chorus:
I’m sending Bill Maher back to 2014,
When you were funny and a little less obscene,
No more of this bitter, sarcastic act,
It’s time to take you to the past.
We’ll just press rewind, and it’s all over,
Back to when you were a little bit bolder,
But now it’s clear—there’s no turning back,
Bill Maher, you’re going back.

Verse 2:
Your cynicism’s getting cold,
Like you’re stuck in the days of old,
Maybe it’s time to take a break,
And leave those tired jokes in the wake.

We were all just laughing, now we’re torn,
Caught in the world you’ve made so worn,
So I’m sending you where you’ve belonged,
To the past where you felt so strong.

Pre-Chorus:
So pack your bags, get in the car,
Let’s rewind it, go back to where you are,
No more of this debate and fight,
We’ll put you back in the spotlight, right?

Chorus:
I’m sending Bill Maher back to 2014,
When you were funny and a little less obscene,
No more of this bitter, sarcastic act,
It’s time to take you to the past.
We’ll just press rewind, and it’s all over,
Back to when you were a little bit bolder,
But now it’s clear—there’s no turning back,
Bill Maher, you’re going back.

Bridge:
Oh, we were all so young,
When you were laughing with a different tongue,
But the world’s changed and so did you,
Now it’s time for a new point of view.

Chorus:
I’m sending Bill Maher back to 2014,
When you were funny and a little less obscene,
No more of this bitter, sarcastic act,
It’s time to take you to the past.
We’ll just press rewind, and it’s all over,
Back to when you were a little bit bolder,
But now it’s clear—there’s no turning back,
Bill Maher, you’re going back.

Outro:
Back to 2014, oh, oh,
Back to 2014, let’s go…
Where the jokes were light,
And the world felt right.
Bill Maher, back to 2014…
We’ll leave you in the past,
Where you were at your best.