Well, people, summer is coming to an end, at least for most of us. We’re writing down dates for September in our calendars and making lists of the stuff we failed to do on vacation — everything from buying that new rug to seeing “The Odyssey” to keeping up with politics.
I know, I know, that last one can be a tad depressing. But, hey, let’s see how you’ve been doing. Has to be better than a quiz about Homer, right?
1. President Donald Trump has been getting lots of flak from Americans who think he’s bad at handling the economy. The president ranted about all this negative thinking, telling a Wisconsin audience that Black unemployment rates were at an all-time low, according to …
A. “My good friend Clarence Thomas.”
B. A survey conducted by Don Jr. and his chums.
C. “I don’t know where that stat came from, but I’ll take it.”
2. In fact, Trump said in a nearby state, 2026 has been …
A. The “single greatest year we’ve ever had as a country.”
B. “A lot better than it is in, say, Burundi.”
C. “Tariffilicious.”
3. There’s lots of excitement about this fall’s elections, of course. Abdul El-Sayed, a Democrat who won a hard-fought Senate primary in Michigan, became one of the party’s new-era progressive stars. The New York Times reported that one of his aides calls him:
A. “Boss.”
B. A “Muslim Bruce Springsteen.”
C. “Everyone’s favorite epidemiologist.”
4. JD Vance is being talked about a lot as a possible Trump successor. He made his name with a memoir about his childhood called “Hillbilly Elegy,” which is set partially in Kentucky.
Andy Beshear, the Democratic governor of Kentucky, recently called Vance’s book:
A. “A stupendous depiction of the challenges our vice president overcame growing up.”
B. “A hell of a lot better than anything Trump has written.”
C. “Poverty tourism.”
5. Beshear was a Kentucky farm boy himself. He’s said that he has fond memories of a childhood task that “prepares you for politics.” Beshear said his job was …
A. Shoveling manure out of a neighbor’s horse stalls.
B. Counting cows.
C. Pretending to be interested in the livestock’s opinions.
6. One of the few positive stories out of Congress lately was the passage of a bill to address the housing crisis — the biggest attempt to tackle that problem in more than 30 years. Trump called the measure:
A. “The most important piece of legislation since that thing about transportation.”
B. “A bill whose success has made me very proud.”
C. “A yawn.”
7. The president has been having quite a few tussles with the Smithsonian Institution. In a new memoir, Lonnie Bunch, the Smithsonian secretary, recalled taking Trump on a tour of the National Museum of African American History and Culture, and stopping at an exhibit focused on the Dutch role in the slave trade.
Bunch said Trump commented:
A. “Now, this is the sort of thing it’s useful for people to learn about.”
B. “You know, they love me in the Netherlands.”
C. “Do you have a place where they can put my name on the wall?”
8. One of the Democrats talked about as a possible presidential candidate in 2028 is Gov. Gavin Newsom of California. Recently, his former appointments secretary wrote an article revisiting a more-than-20-year-old scandal about …
A. Their affair.
B. The time they got confused about daylight saving time.
C. Their former membership in Kimberly Guilfoyle’s hiking club.
9. The Trumps have made mega-fortunes since the president returned to office. More than $1 billion of that came from the family …
A. Constructing moderate-priced housing in the Midwest for middle-class Americans.
B. Golf prizes.
C. Cryptocurrency business.
10. The entire globe seemed to be watching this year’s soccer World Cup. Americans got a chance to be reintroduced to FIFA, the International Federation of Association Football, whose head, Gianni Infantino, is a big Trump fan. Last year, he awarded the president the “FIFA Peace Prize” after Trump failed to …
A. Win the Nobel Peace Prize.
B. Win a special medal for self-aggrandizement.
C. Float a meme coin based on English Premier League scores.
11. Another Republican who seems to want to be the party’s presidential nominee is Pete Hegseth, the secretary of defense. Recently, Hegseth announced a mandatory screening of all 30-and-over service members, including women, for testosterone deficiency, because he says he wants …
A. “To bring the ladies into all our military stuff.”
B. A “High-T Department of War.”
C. More attention.
12. So far this year we’ve sure been focused on those Senate primaries. The Democratic one in Maine started off with an oysterman who had to leave the race after he was accused of rape (an accusation he denies). He was replaced by a …
A. Scallop breeder.
B. Lumberjack.
C. Artificial intelligence entrepreneur.
13. Penn Station in New York is the busiest transportation center in the country. The current administration wants to rename it, and speculation is rife that the plan is to call it …
A. Immigration Station.
B. Alexander Hamilton Station.
C. Trump Station.
14. Speaking to a group of autoworkers recently, Trump said:
A. “Nothing has improved the lot of the American workingman like organized labor.”
B. “I’ve done more for you than your parents.”
C. “Never met a back seat I didn’t like.”
15. Americans have heard a lot recently about the story of the USS Abraham Lincoln, an aircraft carrier whose crew had been reportedly facing food shortages, not to mention mental health crises, after roughly nine months at sea.
Top officials’ response to the complaints from families about the distress on board ranged from sympathetic to defensive. Our president said three-quarters of a year on the water without a break was …
A. “Just what you need High-T for.”
B. “Not nearly long enough.”
C. “A story that reminds me of the time I sold my yacht to a Saudi prince for only $19 million.”
—
Finished? Here are the answers:
1-C, 2-A, 3-B, 4-C, 5-A, 6-C, 7-B, 8-A, 9-C, 10-A, 11-B, 12-B, 13-C, 14-B, 15-B
Give yourself 5 points for each question you got right and 25 just for making it through. And I don’t just mean the quiz.
If you got 50 or lower, you’re really not paying attention. It’s perfectly sane to want to avoid thinking about current events, but really, your job as a citizen is to face the darkness.
A score of 55 to 75 indicates avoidance to a more rational degree. When the next generation asks you, in horror, for Trump stories, you won’t want them to think you weren’t paying attention at all.
If you scored 80 to 85, you’re very well informed. Congratulations. Anything beyond that and you’re going to need more help than I can offer.
